The Gospel according to Dr. Seuss

My friend Craig (aka PASTOR Craig - very much the 'mighty one') did a sermon series this summer at his church (Shepherd of the Hills United Methodist Church in Mission Viejo). This is an interesting and somewhat 'cool' approach to bible study, but there is another element - some might say even cooler - that generates my posting today.


A benediction is given after just about any church service that I know of to 'send forth' the parishioners into the world, ready to put to good use the word and lesson that they received while sitting in the pews. Ideally, the words spoken here really ring true and get people fired up, they are ready to go out there and champion the cause!

Enter yours truly. I have what my friend Elizabeth calls a 'whimsical gift' of being able to rhyme just about anything into a Dr. Seuss-style poem pretty quickly. It is a nifty talent to have when you need something pretty creative really fast. It has actually come into play more times than I can count or would have ever imagined, but every once in a while, the call comes and my pen and I are ready to respond!

Being a man of many resources, Craig dropped me a line inviting me to write the benedictions and a new alliance was born - the word and the rhyme - blending to inspire and move the good people of Shepherd of the Hills. It has been a very fun and energizing process, as taking the key message of the scripture and lesson, combining it with the real world lesson from the applicable Dr. Seuss story of the week and packaging that all together for a meaningful benediction...well, check it out for yourself and tell us what you think!

1. Yertle the Turtle
July 6, 2008

When building something important be it a house or your life,
One must use caution and wisdom while avoiding the strife…
That would come from building upon something soft and not firm,
Otherwise things will come tumbling down and then you will squirm.
If you do not build upon this rock that is critical to all,
You will find your life unstable – you’ll waiver or fall!

So let’s breathe in God’s word and bind it to us,
Let us hold it, secure it, tie it up in a truss,
And know that the days in the land of the Lord, they are many.
So long as we build upon the rock and no, not just any,
But the rock of our Lord, yes Jesus Christ of course -
For whom with all things we always feel joy and never remorse.

2. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
July 13, 2008

The people of Whoville have a story of love,
It started with a grinchy chap who lived high above.

He tried to steal Christmas from them in one crazy year,
But he could not steal the spirit, the love or the cheer.

The grinch's heart, it had changed - it was obvious to all,
It did not matter if it WAS two sizes to small.
God had opened his heart to be a doer of good,
And this loving spirit spread throughout all of Who-hood.

For when the Grinch's heart was opened to God's deed and word,
A chain reaction happened...a metamorphis occurred!

Let us ALL be joyous and loving and kind,
For with our open hearts, God we will always find!

3. Green Eggs & Ham
July 20, 2008

Sam-I-am is a wise fellow indeed,
He pushes people to change and to do it with speed.

Whether it is green eggs and ham or other weird stuff,
Sam wants to put us in a position that we might think is tough,
So that we can grow and stretch and try to extend…
We will find that our discomfort is soon on the mend.

Now as Christians we too oft will see,
That change is upon us – though we may not agree!

Our comforts and zones are things that we need,
To protect us from harm in word or in deed,
But getting outside of them every once in a while,
Will certainly stretch us and bring out a smile.

God knows what is best and for us he has a plan,
We may not see it yet, but rest assured that it is grand.

4. The Sneetches
July 27, 2008

The Sneetches have a life lesson that we see from afar,
It is not REALLY about if your belly is adorned with a star;
But rather knowing that we are different and yet also the same,
Especially when we live our lives to make an impact in God’s name.

When it comes to how we are different, don’t be fooled or tempted to compare,
These assumptions will just make you crazy and they will get us nowhere!
The magic is IN us – that’s the true test,
Serving God’s people brings out our very best.

So whether we are a Human or a Who or even a Sneetch,
The love of our God we should ALWAYS share and teach.

5. The Cat in the Hat Comes Back
August 3, 2008

That Cat in the Hat is funny sort of lad,
Visiting and entertaining in ways that seem bad.
With the Cat there are always issues and problems and strife…
This is certainly no way to lead a good life!

While we might get frustrated or perhaps even mad,
The truth is that the Cat’s reappearance should make us feel glad.
A visit from the Cat while at first seems crazed,
Is actually improved by believing in him and then we are amazed.

The Cat is like a stranger at first, yes, that is true,
But God is no stranger to either me or to you.
And by opening up and believing in him
Our life takes on purpose and never looks grim.

So as we love those we don’t know and welcome them home,
We are doing the things that are readily known
To worship our Lord and honor all who dwell here;
Showering each other with the joy of God’s love, grace and cheer.

6. Horton Hears a Who
August 10, 2008

Horton is an elephant who always knows just what to do,
Including the first time that he ever met his good friend - the esteemed Mayor Who.

A small speck of dust at first was what Horton thought,
But it turned out that there were many Who's in there...a ton...a whole lot!!

We should all learn from Horton to take action right away;
His insistence to sound the Who's voice is what helped to save the day.

We are the Body of Christ and live as God's whole,THIS is how we best serve and nourish our soul...
To be the WE in God's word and respond to his call,Because a Christian's a CHRISTIAN, no matter how small!

7. Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
August 17, 2008

Every day is our day to call upon God,
While we move through our life (even if we do plod)
God is always there with a lure so divine,
That if we choose to go along our life will be fine.

Now, out there things can happen and sometimes it's tough;
But God is always there to smooth through the rough.
The choices are ours, and when we lurch or we fall;
Our faithful God is always there to respond to our call.

So let the adventures begin - let's get on our way...
God's future for us is the hope of our day.

8. The Zaxes
August 24, 2008

I never knew a Zax who wasn’t rigid or stiff,
Who wasn’t willing to get into a spat or a tiff.
‘Never budge’, that is their rule for all things and all ways,
Even if it means that they will have to stand still for 59 days!

It would be nice if we could get a Zax to better see the light
For not only compromising but even some sacrifice (if it is right),
Just as we do in the kingdom of God’s rule,
Because it never pays off to be as stubborn as a mule.

To love above all else is an expression of grace,
And one that we can learn to demonstrate and embrace.
God loves each of us and will for all time - of that we can be sure,
For we are a true reflection of a love that will always endure.

9. Horton Hatches the Egg
August 31, 2008

Horton teaches a lesson of faith and does so with such sense,
That his impact on the world is huge – like him it is immense!
His faith brings about something brand new – an elephant bird
(Which is NOT a common sight, in case you haven’t heard.)

Only God could create something so exciting and unseen until now,
Our Christian faith is the source of finding the gifts and it is how
We demonstrate our conviction of things that are right and are true,
God is always with us even when we don’t see him and we are feeling quite blue.

We know that God has a plan and it will certainly be grand,
Our faith is sometimes the only thing on which we will stand.
Just like Horton we meant what we said and we said what we meant,
Our love, praise and thanks to God is faithful…100 percent!

The summer series has ended and while I am no longer penning benedictions in rhyme, it is fair to say that God is good and thrives in us all...no matter how big OR how small!!

Avoid the gaping jaws of death

There are many rules in this society, most of which are in place for our well-being. You might know some of them. "Don't run with scissors"; "Don't play with fire"; "Don't kiss the dog on the lips". I am sure that there is also somewhere on that list, "Don't run up the down escalator". I believe that I can serve as a warning to others and offer this public service announcement - listen to the experts, for goodness sakes!

I was at LAX earlier this week to help see my niece off for her semester abroad in France. It was naturally a very exciting morning and there were quite a few bags and suitcases as she will be gone through the end of this year on her European adventure/education. Because one of the bags was clearly an overweight candidate, we stood in the oversized bag line to:

a) avoid the RIDICULOUS mob scene in the rest of the airport (that will be it's own blog entry one day I am certain) and

b) pay the $50 to get suitcasezilla over to Paris

As luck would have it, there was something wrong with her shiny new credit card and there was a bit of scurrying to figure out why it wasn't working as well as get the bag handling paid. Being a little helper, I offered to go to the car to get her mother's purse (somehow we thought it was more convenient to not carry wallets and purses...why? Who knows, perhaps we wanted both hands free to handle all of that luggage). The challenge turned out to be that the escalator accessing the skyway back to the parking lot was only a DOWN, I wanted to go UP and the next escalator I could see was at least 3 terminals down.

Undaunted, I decided that because there was no one on the escalator and I wanted to save time, I would just run up the down and be on my merry way. I took a running start and began the climb, arms pumping and the overall form no doubt looking great. I got to the top pretty quickly and just as I was thinking that I was home free, something went horribly wrong with the last step and down I went, much to the horror of the woman standing near the top of the escalator near the security line.

To this minute I am not sure that I can tell you how I not only managed to get back up but also how I exited the escalator. This is what I can report- my left knee felt as if someone had just ripped it off and I was SUPER self-conscious as the 100 or so people in the line that backed up over the skyway stared at me. I just said, "Well, I guess that's why you're not supposed to do THAT" and trotted down the skyway to the parking lot.

I will spare you the details, but let's just say that I am now sporting a new wound on my knee that as Holly describes it, 'looks like a bear attacked you'. It's nothing that a week of neosporin and band-aids won't take care of! All that really matters is that we got the credit card issue fixed, the mountain of luggage checked and Little Britty on her way to France.

Take it from me, no matter how fantastically fit you believe yourself to be...when you want to go up and the only escalator is down...avoid the gaping jaws of death and look for an elevator.

The end of an era

This may seem to be a bit of a shock to some, but I will soon be saying farewell to the big blender as my 9-year run at Jamba Juice quietly ends and I transition into some time at home to just hang around and do some volunteer work.

I am admittedly surprised at what an emotional situation this turned out to be (and will continue for a few days as the word spreads into the field). I will say that NEVER have I been a part of a greater talent pool than here at Jamba and one of my biggest learnings is that solid values and doing the right thing transcends all - F.I.B.E.R. (Fun, Integrity, Balance, Empowerment and Respect) is the thing that brought me to Jamba and will forever be the thing that keeps me connected, even if it is as a loyal customer.

So now what? David tells me that the patio needs painting and he apparantly beleives that I am the ideal candidate to do it! I am hoping to plug back in more aggressively with my Emmaus friends and maybe even Chrysallis as well as investigate what employment opportunities might exist with the multitude of non-profit organizations that support great causes AND put on cool events to promote active, healthy living (that is a plug and shout out if you know anyone who might be a good connection for me!!)

I'll always blend up a mean smoothie (I have the Magic Bullet, remember??) and have a fond place in my heart for the whirl. I am also not parting with the many cool pieces of jamba gear that I have collected over the years, but will likely tone it down a bit...perhaps we can limit it to one clothing item per outfit!!

Good luck to my friends at Jamba and thanks for an awesome 9 years...more to come on what the 'last days' look like over the next 2 1/2 weeks as we close out shop and witness the end of an era in my worklife.

Now What??

Just like that, we as a world are thrust into darkness. Gone is the Olympic flame, burning so brightly for 16 consecutive days. Gone are the exciting qualifying and final rounds of our favorite sports (old and new - I am still pretty entertained by that whole trampoline thing). Gone are the medal ceremonies and accompanying national anthems (I might be able to hum the Chinese anthem on command - they really cleaned up with their 51 golds!!). Gone are the touching and sometimes contrived but still unique 'Olympic Spirit' stories. Sigh.

Although I didn't completely devote the last 2+ weeks to the Olympics, I certainly did contribute most of my spare time to either talking about, watching or looking something up about the events. It is time my friends to slowly begin our re-immersion into non-Olympic times and regular conversation or activities.

Dull, uninspired TV is back (although the fall season is just a few weeks away and after that writer's strike from last year, I would like to go on record that they OWE us a good season this go-round!!) and we will have to find ways to entertain ourselves until the winter Olympics turn up in Vancouver in 2010. I wonder if I should begin a quest to sign on as a volunteer at the event?!

2010 seems like a long time away and even then it will be about skiing and toboggans - good stuff, certainly...but it is going to be hard to beat a beach volleyball final match!

Good luck, mighty fans, and may the Olympic flame NEVER burn out in your heart!!

Have cheering section, will tri

We have all become familiar with my athletic endeavors - they really exist to keep me moving and motivated to do a bit of philanthropic work at the same time as I typically get the chance to raise money for a good cause. Today I did the Santa Barbara Triathlon (sprint distance, women only), which ranks right up there among my favorite events, partially because it is semi-local, and also thanks to a great system they have for sorting out the competitive athletes from those of us who don't even pretend to have serious athletic skills. One group that I have been introduced through this particular event is called Moms in Motion and they have an awesome approach to making regular exercise achievable for everyone, even busy Moms.

Holly and her posse ended up spending the night, so they decided that they wanted to come out and cheer me on. I appreciated their offer, but warned them that coming along meant a 5:15 am wake-up. They said that they were game and insisted that they go along - they even called Olivia and had her come over after work so that she could be a part of the fun.

I woke up at about 1:15 am (drinking lots of water for good hydration prior to an event has it's drawbacks), and I heard them still awake, laughing about something and showing no signs of slowing. I remember thinking to myself, 'they aren't going to be excited about that wake up call in just a few hours' and then I conked back out. As I picked my way through the sprawl of sleeping bags and blankets (why they chose to sleep in the family room is it's own mystery, but anywhoo..) I finally found Holly upstairs and woke her up. She was pretty groggy so I asked her if she wanted to go back to sleep, "No way!!!"

Loaded up in the car and on our way, I was dropped off at the start while the girls went to go get some coffee and park the car. Once I set up in the transition area, I just hung out for a while and was rewarded with the arrival of my very own cheering section. Besides getting a few candid (and not entirely flattering) photos and shooting some video, my squad made up several cheers that they shouted out when I ran or biked past. Truthfully, I really didn't hear the details of what they were shouting (other than the 'We're not WORTHY' routine when I came in from the bike portion), but it cracked me up to know that they were there and putting so much energy into it.

The finish (and, thankfully the entire event) was very smooth due largely in part to my cheering section. It is also noteworthy to mention that I was targeting 1:15 for my final time and came in at 1:07 - I am sure that I have my fantastic cheering squad to thank for that. Perhaps I shall book them for my next gig at Disneyland next week!

Livin' La Vida So Cal

Having a soon-to-be-high-school-senior in the house (school starts next Wednesday) keeps us on our toes and there is always something going on that I can, want to or should be doing. The latest and greatest this week was Holly and her friends (Rachel and Karina, they go 'way' back from the 1st grade!) decided that they wanted to visit Holly's godmother (and one of my oldest as in length of time known, not age friends) Katsy at a restaurant (Reel Inn - I highly suggest it) in Malibu. This was an easy enough task, but with Rachel's permit, Holly's provisional license and Karina's full-blown driver's license, there were logistics around driving that have to be coordinated.

It was going to be easy enough - initially. Rachel would come to our house and Karina would swing by to pick the girls up so they could make the trek out to Malibu. But drama soon unfolded - Karina's car was in the shop for some unknown minor repair and the status of the trip hung in the balance! The quick-thinking Schnoogs decided to invite me to lunch and since I was going, I could drive too! Not one to pass up a good meal, I accepted and all was well.

But wait - the car was OK after all and Karina CAN drive. Now we have the awkward moment of UN-inviting (or whatever the grammatically correct term might be) me since the girls really want the freedom of driving themselves. Holly was genuinely conflicted, I will give her that. She wasn't too object to my presence (after all, my weekend wear today as she puts it, 'almost matches') and I can be something of entertainment when needed. She and the girls invited me, despite the fact that it would muddy up the plans to cruise PCH because they are good like that.

Not being one to be the total kill-joy AND wanting to offer a win-win for all, I agreed to go if I could drive my own car (a HUGE sacrifice on my part for anyone who knows my propensity to cram as many people in one car at a time as possible to avoid too many cars on the road). Big smiles all around accepted this deal, and we set off for the 15-mile or so journey to Malibu.

This is where the So Cal adoration comes in. After we wound through the Santa Monica Mountains on Old Topanga Canyon Road, we dropped down onto Pacific Coast Highway to what I would describe as the perfect, quintessential summer day. Sunshine, blue sky, aqua water and shimmers so bright across the waves and currents that it almost blinds you. It was so striking that I actually called Holly on her cell phone to state simply, "This is why I live in Southern California." Living the dream, baby!!!

Olympic Fever is alive and well

I don't proclaim to be anything special or unusual when it comes to the Olympics - I AM (almost) OBSESSED. I must be trying to make up for that week I missed while on vacation without any TV because here I sit each night taking in whatever event is being aired. Last night's Women's Beach Volleyball was among the best that I have seen in terms of evenly matched athletes. Both the USA and China teams rocked! Much like my friend Elizabeth commented on her blog, I must admit that I do wonder why the women wear the skimpy little suits to play when the men wear board shorts and basketball jerseys...the double standard in clothing aside...go USA as we have won both Women's AND Men's beach volleyball!!

How about those amazing divers? Chen Roulin is 15 years old and wins the gold medal, that is awesome. I was also super happy for Emilie the Canadian diver who gave Chen something of a run for her money and am super impressed with Laura Wilkinson who is ALL class, no matter how she places in her last international competition. I could wax on forever about all of the awesome performances and humble athletes...and I could probably make a comment or two about some of the not-so-gracious displays of sportsmanship in a few of the track stars, but I'll let that go for now!

There are a few sports that are pretty new to my Olympic memories - Handball? Trampoline? BMX? Women's BMX? (they are tough, let me tell you - it was a yard sale with bikes and riders all over the course) I have become an expert in these sports, as well as diving, track, swimming, gymnastics...it is safe to say that Olympic Fever is alive and well in the Newton household.

I am coming to the sad realization that the games will close out on Sunday (although a quick study of the schedule will tell you that there is a full agenda of finals for the remaining two days - I hope that I can catch them all!!) The big dilemma is going to be...what will I do for the next 2 years until the winter Olympics start up in Vancouver???

Who knows what lurks beneath

This is the official vacation blog. In addition to the obligatory pictures ( thank your lucky stars that I sifted down to about 24 - you could be bored for HOURS if I put them all out there), I am going to make the declaration that one week of vacation just isn't enough. I was just starting to settle into the vacation groove - stay up until 1 or 2 am and get up at 8:45 or 9:00 the next morning. No e-mail, no phone, no real responsibilities or agenda...that is some fine luxury living.

You will note in the picture series that there was a lot of time spent out on the water - either on a boat, pontoon or even riding on a giant tube while being hauled around the lake at speeds sometimes upward of 35 mph (that translates to 70 mph+ as you whip behind the boat in the turns...good times!) I have decided (and always kind of have known) that I need to live somewhere that I can have access to water - it is very grounding to me.

Speaking of the lake, I ventured out on one late morning with the intention of doing a fine open water swim...there were very few boats or skiers on our side of the lake, so it seemed an idyllic and tranquil spot to swim at least a half mile. Things started out OK and then I hit the reeds. CREEPER!! There are few things worse in my opinion than swimming along while things are touching you - even if they are just harmless water plants. Who knows what lurks beneath???? I spent at least the first 10 minutes hyperventilating and talking myself out of stopping (besides, I was in the middle of the lake with no support crew...how was I going to stop??)

After 15 minutes of irregular breathing and splashing, I got my groove on and proceeded to demonstrate some fine, Phelps-like swimming skills (well, maybe not QUITE as fast, but good form nonetheless). Coming back through the weeds/reeds/torture chamber was not a treat but I managed to power through without stopping to tread water in the midst of it and get freaked out. That may have been the longest 30 minute swim of my life, but hopefully it will help to get me ready for the Santa Barbara Triathlon that I have this Sunday!

Missing but not lost

It has been some time since my last post and I have missed it - as well as my expansive audience of the loyal 2 or 3 of you! :) I am just returning from a 9-day family vacation where we were pretty much cut off from the real world - no TV, phone, Internet, etc. It was all about the books and actually chatting with one another, amazing!

I will spend the next few postings going into more detail about the trip, but for now know that the scenery was fantastic (as noted by the cover shot here taken by yours truly) and the company excellent. It is indeed good for the soul to completely unplug and have the biggest event of the day be about whether or not to make the 2-hour round trip to Wal-Mart for snacks and dinner supplies.

As my title today indicates, I realized while on this trip that a lot has been missing in the last few months but it is good to report that all is not lost. Some time with nature and the family is very helpful in crystallizing what we want, need and how to balance it all out!!

Vegetarian Beef - doesn't that seem odd?

I was cruising the aisles of my favorite grocery store (Trader Joe's, we may have to have a few blogs about their most outstanding items at some point in the future) and came upon a claim that just struck me as comical while at the same time a little odd. It's peak BBQ season, so the sample area was filled with all sorts of delectable items suitable to BBQ or bring to compliment one. In the cooler right next to the sample counter, there was a sign proclaiming the steaks as being the best because of the 'vegetarian fed' cattle.

It is a well known fact to those who know me that I don't eat meat. I have never eaten beef, pork, lamb, veal or any other animals that fall into the general MEAT category, although I did eat poultry for some time...at least until I came across an article about poultry houses and decided that I was done trying to convince myself that chicken wasn't so bad. I still eat fish, but do steer clear of any articles or conversations that might go into detail on how the fish are prepared for the marketplace.

At any rate, this is not about me judging the masses who eat (and rightly enjoy) meat or trying to convince any of you to not do it. It is really just about the humor that I found in the emphasis on cattle bred to be vegetarians (their natural inclination anyway). I know that some cattle farms put steroids and growth hormones to make the cows grow bigger faster, so knowing that you are eating meat that doesn't have any of that junk in it is important.

It was really just the fact that the claim struck me as the ultimate oxymoron and entertained me greatly for the remainder of my shopping trip!

Breakdown

No need to fret...I am not having a breakdown, it is actually the title of a song that I really like by Jack Johnson. It's been around for several years and has been playing on my iPod since it came out, but rarely do I hear it on the radio...but I did today. As I heard the familiar tune and listened to the lyrics, I was struck by a few things.

1. Another train reference (check out yesterday's blog entry...much about the train experience). 2. The song is all about slowing down and enjoying the journey (also an earlier blog entry and something that I am really trying to embrace of late). 3. Sometimes we force ourselves into a position where we HAVE to slow down (and it is often rather uncomfortable and definitely the 'hard way' to learn something).

I've always liked this song and hearing it today was a good reality check for where things are, how I'm dealing with them and most important of all - how I am trying to NOT power through it as if I can control everything. It is kind of interesting that the first line "I hope this old train breaks down" is something of a wish to slow the pace. As I thought through this song and what it is asking for, I concluded that it might behoove us to make a conscious effort to slow things down a bit or at least stop every now and again.

Take stock, inventory and assess where things are. I can tell you that it didn't take me too long to realize how lucky I am to have a great family and friends with whom I get to share a lot of great experiences. Today alone I had the chance to talk to about a dozen different people who I consider to be high quality and quite the blessing to me in my life (and chances are if you are reading this blog you are one of them!!).

It is good to be able to get out and enjoy life. As Jack says, "The wisdom's in the trees, not the glass windows."

Waving like they really mean it

I rode the train from Simi Valley to Solana Beach and back today to visit my friend Renee in Encinitas. I have taken the train a couple of times before and like it because the traffic heading south can be brutal – especially on a Friday – and I like having time to do things like work, talk on the phone…and look out the window.

If you haven’t taken the time or had the opportunity to ride the train in a while, I strongly encourage you to give it a shot the next time you are going to San Diego or Santa Barbara. I will admit that the connection through Los Angeles at Union Station feels like it slows things down a bit, but it is still a pretty reasonable deal and I am confident that with the price of gas these days, it is actually less expensive to ride the train versus drive a car. Check out how much a train ride will cost you through Amtrak using their convenient little trip finder.

Back to staring out the window. The scenery starts to get really good going south by San Juan Capistrano, as the beach comes into view and (if you sit on the correct side of the train facing forward), the view is pretty spectacular. Today was a gorgeous day in Southern California – the kind of day that makes visitors want to stay year round. As I watched the different beach towns and surfer spots whiz by, I started to notice that people on the ground like to wave at trains A LOT and they all wave like they really mean it…the full hip/body sway with arm high overhead to make sure we see that they are waving to us.

Once I realized this phenomenon, I was fascinated and began to look at the people waving in each area we passed. There did not seem to be any particular age/gender/race bias in my unofficial study – it just appears that people really like to wave at trains. I then started to speculate on why there is this love of the wave – possible loved ones they are thinking about or longing for; the lure and romance of traveling by rail; excitement and adventures not yet experienced…I suppose that these are all viable reasons, specific to each individual.

One thing is for certain, having all of these different people wave to me (or so I like to imagine) makes me far more cognizant of how we move about in our society sometimes unseen. I may not turn into the most attentive and present person overnight, but you can be certain of one thing…from here on out every time I see a train I am going to wave…and wave like I really mean it!!