Avoid the gaping jaws of death

There are many rules in this society, most of which are in place for our well-being. You might know some of them. "Don't run with scissors"; "Don't play with fire"; "Don't kiss the dog on the lips". I am sure that there is also somewhere on that list, "Don't run up the down escalator". I believe that I can serve as a warning to others and offer this public service announcement - listen to the experts, for goodness sakes!

I was at LAX earlier this week to help see my niece off for her semester abroad in France. It was naturally a very exciting morning and there were quite a few bags and suitcases as she will be gone through the end of this year on her European adventure/education. Because one of the bags was clearly an overweight candidate, we stood in the oversized bag line to:

a) avoid the RIDICULOUS mob scene in the rest of the airport (that will be it's own blog entry one day I am certain) and

b) pay the $50 to get suitcasezilla over to Paris

As luck would have it, there was something wrong with her shiny new credit card and there was a bit of scurrying to figure out why it wasn't working as well as get the bag handling paid. Being a little helper, I offered to go to the car to get her mother's purse (somehow we thought it was more convenient to not carry wallets and purses...why? Who knows, perhaps we wanted both hands free to handle all of that luggage). The challenge turned out to be that the escalator accessing the skyway back to the parking lot was only a DOWN, I wanted to go UP and the next escalator I could see was at least 3 terminals down.

Undaunted, I decided that because there was no one on the escalator and I wanted to save time, I would just run up the down and be on my merry way. I took a running start and began the climb, arms pumping and the overall form no doubt looking great. I got to the top pretty quickly and just as I was thinking that I was home free, something went horribly wrong with the last step and down I went, much to the horror of the woman standing near the top of the escalator near the security line.

To this minute I am not sure that I can tell you how I not only managed to get back up but also how I exited the escalator. This is what I can report- my left knee felt as if someone had just ripped it off and I was SUPER self-conscious as the 100 or so people in the line that backed up over the skyway stared at me. I just said, "Well, I guess that's why you're not supposed to do THAT" and trotted down the skyway to the parking lot.

I will spare you the details, but let's just say that I am now sporting a new wound on my knee that as Holly describes it, 'looks like a bear attacked you'. It's nothing that a week of neosporin and band-aids won't take care of! All that really matters is that we got the credit card issue fixed, the mountain of luggage checked and Little Britty on her way to France.

Take it from me, no matter how fantastically fit you believe yourself to be...when you want to go up and the only escalator is down...avoid the gaping jaws of death and look for an elevator.